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"I Will Not..."

4/11/2013

2 Comments

 
Picture
  • "I will not aim for the head.
    I will not carve gods.
    I will not barf unless I'm sick.
    I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
    I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
    I will not conduct my own fire drills.
    Funny noises are not funny.
    I will not fake seizures.
    This punishment is not boring and pointless.
    My name is not Dr. Death.
    I will not prescribe medication.
    I will not bury the new kid.
    I will not teach others to fly.
    I will not bring sheep to class.
    A burp is not an answer.
    Teacher is not a leper.
    Coffee is not for kids.
    I will not eat things for money.
    I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
    The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
    I will not call the principal "spud head".
    Goldfish don't bounce.
    Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
    No one is interested in my underpants.
    I will not sell miracle cures.
    I will return the seeing-eye dog.
    I do not have diplomatic immunity.
    I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
    I will never win an emmy.
    The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
    I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
    My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
    I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
    I am not deliciously saucy.
    There are plenty of businesses like show business.
    I will not waste chalk.
    I will not skateboard in the halls.
    I will not instigate revolution.
    I will not draw naked ladies in class.
    I did not see Elvis.
    I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
    Garlic gum is not funny.
    They are laughing at me, not with me.
    I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
    I will not encourage others to fly.
    I will not fake my way through life.
    It's potato, not potatoe.
    I will not trade pants with others.
    I will not do that thing with my tongue.
    I will not drive the principal's car.
    I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
    I will not sell school property.
    I will not burp in class.
    I will not cut corners.
    I will not get very far with this attitude.
    I will not belch the National Anthem.
    I will not sell land in Florida.
    I will not grease the monkey bars.
    I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
    I will not do anything bad ever again.
    I will not show off.
    I will not sleep through my education.
    I am not a dentist.
    Spitwads are not free speech.
    Nobody likes sunburn-slappers.
    High explosives and school don't mix.
    Hamsters cannot fly.
    I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
    I will not squeak chalk.
    I will finish what I sta
    Underwear should be worn on the inside.
    The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
    I will not torment the emotionally frail.
    I will not send lard through the mail.
    I will not use abbrev.
    Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.
    Indian burns are not our cultural heritage.
    I will not dissect things unless instructed.
    I will not hang donuts on my person.
    No one wants to hear my armpits.
    I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface.
    I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
    Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.
    The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far.
    I am not a lean mean spitting machine.
    The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan.
    I will not whittle hall passes out of soap.
    Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things.
    I do not have power of attorney over first graders.
    Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does.
    I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr..
    I am not certified to remove asbestos.
    I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball.
    I will remember to take my medication.
    The boys room is not a water park.
    Beans are neither fruit nor musical.
    Nerve gas is not a toy.
    "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism.
    The First Amendment does not cover burping.
    Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough."
  • From "Famous Chalkboard Quotes of Bart"
  • ~Nancy ~ 101/365
    2 Comments
    Amy
    4/11/2013 11:54:43 am

    Each is great but collectively it's even better! This is great

    Reply
    ~Nancy
    4/11/2013 12:28:32 pm

    I have had "Bart" in every single classroom,
    including today... ;)

    Reply



    Leave a Reply.

      Author ~
      Nancy Brachbill

      Still learning...

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